Titi nieves

Whenever I see this bottle of drug store perfume I am taken back to my Titi Nieves’ Bronx apartment circa 1973.

Titi was Papi’s sister, the eldest of the 14 siblings. When we were older she was very reserved. But in the 70’s she was a sexy momma, wearing jeans with peace sign patches on them. She was wearing those jeans when we all went to the airport to pick up my grandmother, her mom, who was visiting from Puerto Rico. Like a solid Puerto Rican family, we packed like three cars with people to welcome Mama Lina to New York. Titi Nieves’ jeans and jean jacket were raising eyebrows among the other aunts who thought she should be dressed more “appropriately” for a 47-year-old woman.

Her response was to make fun of Mami, who had us dress in our Sunday best. “That’s not in style anymore, to get dressed for the airport,” said my aunt to my mother. Mami blushed but shot back, “good taste is always in style.”

My memory of this visit to Titi Nieves’ is special because in later years after she divorced and remarried, she became one of those church ladies who liked to preach salvation and she dressed modestly. And she was no fun. 

But that one time in her apartment in the West Farms neighborhood in the Bronx I had wandered away from the adults in the living room and found myself in front of her dresser. It did not have the traditional crocheted tapete but instead was lined with bottles of perfume.

They were different shapes and sizes. Some were colored so that you could not see the liquid. Others were sheer and the liquid inside shimmered in the afternoon sun. Some were yellow and some were gold. I had only ever had small bottles of Avon perfume like “Sweet Honesty” so I was intrigued by the collection. I wondered how she could decide which one to spray or dab on herself each morning.

My eyes settled on a small bottle that was shaped like a violin with an amber liquid inside.

She encouraged me to try it on. It was a strong scent. I loved it.

“It’s strong like you, take it,” she said to me as she stood at the edge of dresser watching me.

“Don’t you like it?” I asked her.

“I love it,” she said, “but I want you to have it, as a gift.”

I was so happy with my gift that I floated back into the living room smiling. My Titi Sophy was immediately annoyed with her sister, “eso no es un perfume apropiado para una niña.”

Now everyone was rumbling about this perfume which was “cheap” for being sold in drug stores. “Perfume de putas,” which was what Titi Sophy whispered. I felt like they were making fun of me, but I was not going to give up the little violin bottle.

Mami had that look of disapproval on her face but said nothing until later when we were in the car and she said “do not spray that perfume around other people.”

All I know is that I didn’t care what anyone thought, I loved the gift, it made me feel special, and grown. I felt that my aunt had recognized a part of me that wanted to be seen as a teen.

Adolescence is such a tough time, especially for a girl with all that hormonal activity. It seems hard to get adults to take you seriously. Whether she was truly motivated by wanting to make me feel special or just wanting to piss off my mom, Titi Nieves gave me a life-long proclivity towards the darker amber, sandalwood scents. They make me feel strong.